Different Life
by Lilas
Summary: Naruto's thoughts before he fights Sasuke. (Spoilers up to manga 219. SasuNaru hints (sort of))


Author: Lilas

Title: Different Life

Disclaimer: Not mine! And I gladly let them be in the hands of Kishimoto because he's a GENIUS who should be worshipped! Hmmm….

SPOILER: Up to chapter 219 of the manga!!

Summary: Naruto's thoughts as he faces insane!Sasuke

Author's note: I wrote this at work 'cause I was bored and had nothing else to do. Reason why it's so small… I'm supposed to be working at work… I dunno how I feel about this fic. I guess I'll let you guys decide

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Sometimes he wondered just what exactly he was going for. Some days he thought he had it right and that life really was all about teasing your friends and insulting the ones you cared about until they either hit you over the head with a very, very hard fist or simply started insulting you back with as much vigor as you had offended them. Other days however, like the one he was having at the moment, he wondered if he hadn't gotten it all wrong after all and that he really had _no_ idea what life was supposed to be like.

He remember a reading very wise words telling him that if you heat it up, it'll all be good (all right, so that was written in the back of an instant ramen cup, but it was still good advice). Now he wasn't so sure. Here he was, standing on top of one of the giant Hokages statues he didn't even _know_ existed while his best friend was not only insanely laughing his ass off, but there were also some weird color shows going on on his face. And he had a feeling that he should be scared, that he should be worried for the teen in front of him. He had an instinct that things were going to get ugly from there on, but he felt oddly calm about it.

What he really wanted was some ramen.

Of course, he was fully aware that this kind of thought process should not be crossing his mind at times like these, but he felt as if he could think better under pressure if nice thoughts of ramen were crossing his mind. That way at least his head wasn't going around in circles wondering just how the heck they had gotten there in the first place. Wondering just how the hell their lives had gone from bad to worse, to worse in such a small span of time. All he'd ever wanted was a friend, someone to acknowledge him, someone to let him know he was alive.

What he'd gotten was a death sentence.

He'd never meant for it to go that far. He'd never meant to make the other teen feel inferior, as if he had no way of besting him unless he ran off to that _thing_ and ask it for more power. He wished he'd seen this coming. He wished the teen's older brother had never gone out and done the things he'd done. He wished the people of the village had never placed so much pressure on the shoulders the lone survivor.

He wished the villagers would just sod off.

From his life, from the teen's life…

He looked at the teen on the other side of the cliff from him, black eyes wide and wild, blindly looking into everything and nothing. He couldn't help but remember how those eyes looked like a few years ago. They had been black as well, but he remembered that they saw. They didn't see anything pretty, and they were clouded by a veil that till this day he still couldn't understand and couldn't hope to understand, but they saw. They lived. And sometimes, he thought they lived just for him.

It was a childish and immature thought, but it was one he had had several times while sparring with the other teen, one which he had had many nights while lying alone in his bed and smiling at the thought of having a friend at last. They were hard eyes, eyes that liked glaring, but they were vivid with something that back then gave the needed spark in the teen's life to keep him going. Now… Now there was no spark. There was no fire.

There was only that veil he didn't understand, couldn't understand, darker than ever, stronger than before. Could he rip it? Could he tear it off the teen's eyes and make him see again? Could he recreate that much needed spark that kept him going on, striving to live and get stronger and stronger? Would he be forced to fight a battle he didn't want to? He wanted to fight the real enemy. He wanted to fight that lizard faced good for nothing and scary as fuck asshole, but he couldn't. He couldn't because in order to fight _him_, he had to fight Sasuke. And he didn't know yet if he had the guts to fight Sasuke the way Sasuke wanted to fight him.

So he stood there, on top of the statue, watching as the other teen smiled snidely and relished in his new found strength. He thought of Sakura and the promise he had made her. He thought about how sure she had sounded when she had asked him to rescue Sasuke, how she had been so sure that he was the only one who could do it. And he thought of the Kiyubi and how it withered within him, begging to be released, seeking blood, seeking vengence, seeking deaths.

He thought about how that hatred could help him fight the teen in front of him. He thought about how that need within the Kiyubi's soul could help him beat the teen whose eyes seemed to have been take over by hatred. But he didn't want to look like that. He didn't want to feel like that again. The sensations were still tangible in his mind, the taste of the hatred and the bitterness he had felt toward Haku were still fresh despite all these years, and it was a feeling he didn't want to feel in respect to Sasuke. It was a feeling he was reserving to feel when he fought someone worthy of this hatred.

It wasn't something to be unleashed in regards to someone he admired, to someone he couldn't live without. It wasn't something he was ready to release. But that didn't matter. He would bring Sasuke back. Regardless of what he had to do, of what he had to sacrifice, he would bring the Sasuke they knew back to them. He'd do that because it was the least he could do for someone who had saved him from his hellish loneliness.

It was the least he could do, and he would do it right or die trying.


End file.
